All I Want Is A Chance...To Fail

Well, now that you mention it, you just might have seen me around town. I'm the guy who plods along, dragging his knuckles. Well, I wouldn't have to drag them if they hadn't been torn off in that terrible volleyball accident a few years ago. Who says that's gross? You're gross. Look, we both have to put on all six of our shoes one foot at a time. You only have two feet? What's wrong with you? Oh, yeah, well, I suppose I have noticed that most people only wear two shoes. How do they stuff so many feet in them?

Okay, so I have six feet and my knuckles are attached to silly string. But you can't fault me for being beautiful. Why, I once took second prize in an octogenarian camel look-alike contest, just narrowly losing to Milton Berle's corpse. You say I would scare off your customers? And the other rodeo clowns? Well, I say there's no accounting for taste, my good fellow.