Coming Soon: The Ostrich Bachelor

Wednesdays at seven, join Flavor Flav, Gary Busey and the reanimated corpses of the Marx Brothers in Celebrity Ostrich Hunt: You Bastard Whore (title not yet final). Throughout the course of the show, these celebrities will try to convince Gallington, a young ostrich looking for love, to marry them. Unfortunately, Gallinton isn't impressed by fame alone. She wants to be wooed. She wants to be romanced. She wants to be taken to opium dens, introduced to crystal meth and mechanically separated into a slurry. Whoever wins her talons in marriage is going to have to do a lot of work. When asked about his strategy, Gary Busey said, "Beeeeef!" After he was informed that ostriches and cows are two different animals, he replied, "Don't count me out just yet. After all, a moron is simply a genius in reverse."