Motorboat My Miniature Mustache

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My miniature mustache sleeps in a tiny hammock next to my bed. I find it useful for occasions when I need to look sophisticated, debonair and completely foolish at the same time. My miniature mustache is barely visible to the naked eye. And why is your eye naked, anyway? Here, use my miniature mustache to cover it up.

My miniature mustache is too big for a rat, but it's way too small for llamas. However, it once dated Lorenzo Lamas. They were together for about two months before my miniature mustache disappeared. Lorenzo Lamas was depressed for weeks before he finally found my miniature mustache in his belly button, trapped underneath a piece of lint and drowning in a pool of chest sweat. A little mouth to mouth and my miniature mustache was revived. However, it took days before the smell of Pantene and wildebeest washed off.

Lucky for me, my miniature mustache decided that it was time to move on. We've been together for three years now. I need to stop taking so much acid.