This Man Married His Nightmare
When your nightmare is so terrible that it actually manifests itself in the real world, you're about as fucked as it gets. However, there is a way out. If you can convince your nightmare that it should marry you (which, if you're as dapper as the fella above, is all it wants anyway), then you guarantee that when you die, the nightmare only gets to keep half of your soul. That's more soul than all of the CNN anchors combined! Half a soul isn't enough to get you into heaven, but it will probably get you into broccoli heaven, which is almost identical, just a little gassier.