Every time you say something untrue, a librarian yells at a Jungian biker for reading romance novels. Every time you forget to leave a tip, a meddlesome landlord finds his son's basement porn studio for penguins. And don't even think about whispering sexy nothings to your dog's bath toys. If you do this, somewhere around the world, a housewife will butter her husband from head to toe and kick him out of the house. Alone in the wilderness, a pack of wild wolves will find him and laugh hysterically at his micro penis for over three hours.