No, You Really Can't Be a Rock Star

Sure, you've got the look, but do you have the talent? Probably not, especially considering that your mom has issued a restraining order against your guitar. Have words like "practice" or "lessons" ever come to mind? I know times have been tough, and you've even had to sell your Billy Dee Williams collector's plates, but don't you think it's time to give up this particular ghost and do something useful with your time? Maybe you could sell kangaroos to homeless Egyptians. Or you could teach rodeo clowns to cure depression in dust mites. As your next door neighbor, I have to say that I much preferred your "fucking gypsies under my carport" phase. Could you at least turn the volume down so that my wife can stop her infernal howling?


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