Argyle Sock Magazine Named Me One Of The Top Ten People To Drink!

I'm not sure if this is something I should be proud of or not. Of course I taste sugary sweet. I'm not arguing that. But what worried me was when I read the part of the article where the author wrote, "It's best not to take small sips of Pat King. Instead, slice him right open and bathe in a geyser of delight. No. Let's not do that. It's not fitting. Because you're simply too pretty to get me all over your nice sundress. I'm like a good habanero sauce: Just a little dab'll do ya.