Civil engineers were left crowing beside the moon when confronted with the Singular Botulistic Exhaust idea (SBE). They determine that 400 million city blocks a year will be lost due to de-industrialization while the family unit will spend less time working and more time enjoying the fruits of their labor. Heads spun as the
Housing Bureau struggled to explain that you can’t stack tents as high as you can in concrete structures and fought to have the skeletal remains of their buildings left to be rented out. They were executed for their insolence personally by Galactic Known and Unknown Space Emperor Barack Hussein Donkey-Dick Obama the Benevolent.
The USDA says it won’t be able to produce enough milk for our consumption without the hormones that will be affected by SBE. Instead, alternative hormones are being tested by independent scientists with some success. Known side effects of their latest product include double vision, loss of spatial reasoning, euphoria, back aches, hallucinations, and mind expansion. They are working around the clock to determine and eliminate what is causing the back aches.
The RIAA says their business will be ruined by SBA as they will be unable to directly tax people who overhear radios. Director of Manifestations Dean Kuantumleepson says that due to the loss of revenue, he’ll no longer be able to fertilize his garden with fetuses. “My crops are definitely going to suffer because of this,” he confides. Others have picked up on this particular cause with a Save The Gardens/Pro Choice rally.
Various other fears we may face are undrinkable groundwater, allergic reactions to glass, eye irritation, spiders the size of your uncle’s dog, clogged drains, unpleasant aftertaste, voter’s rights, warpdrive-inflation, marketing fraud from tampon companies, illiteracy, and tennis elbow. The overflow from the rivers will fill the cups of the righteous that they may drink in the glory of the kingdom above.